7.5mg methylphenidate at 4.30pm

Took one and a half tablets reasonably same time. Need to look at car. Legs tired from yesterday.
Am I going to get tetchy again?
Pharmacist said not to mix and match.
Still quite spaced out sometimes, not particularly motivated.

Hang on lads, I got a great idea…

How about cutting out ALL caffeine again and all stress. To see how that affects my breathing.
I think I’m in this merry go round again where psychosomatic symptoms go round my body; stomach, breathing, chest etc…

Rereading this

Started reading this blog again. Tried to set up on new phone but couldn’t remember password and I think email is an old one I no longer have link to. This WordPress app on old iPod doesn’t seem to let me access passwords…

Can’t we just post by date?

I’m keeping a hand written diary. Will supplement it with this. The writing in it late at night, so avoiding stress from tv or computer, helps me sleep.

New Year Misery

3am and just so miserable. No panic attacks , just that feeling that i have wasted my life.

Crap

Not sure if last post went up , I shall keep posting on this piece of crap until it does

Black Dog

I am heading for some kind of breakdown again,  that’s what it feels like. The black fog that descend, is not being a cured by trips out into town.

Pay parking fine

1 Pay parking fine Sun, 10/16/2011

Suicide Watch

Last night I had someone break down and start crying on the phone. She repeated that she wAnted to die . I think the main problem is that she has withdrawn from a lot of medication quite quickly; ADD mess as well as antianxiety drugs and the usual gamut of drugs that lot of Americans seem to take…in my experience they are either obsessed by wholefoods and wont even take a paracetamol or pill-munching.

My friend on the phone does have a realistic attitude but now no longer has health insurance so even the ADD stuff by itself is expensive.

I will finish this when I’ve had some sleep and recovered.

I feel much better now, I really do

Well, not MUCH better but not at death’s door.
I am having a bath and reading…