After thinking I was well on the road to recovery – especially after yesterday – I have awoken to dizzy spells accompanying tension/pressure at the base of my skull. Dizziness is one of my most unpleasant side effects and usually renders me hopeless for much of the day.
I went to bed last at 12.30ish in my continuing attempt to regain sleep hygiene/normal sleep pattern. A somewhat fitful night marred by tinnitus. Awoke at 5ish to eat something, watch Captain Scarlett and then go back to sleep on and off til 10ish. Got up and had tea and toast at mydesk whilst checking emails but I think ‘overthinking’ last night and this morning has got the better of me. I can try and shake this off or I can go back to bed and try and sleep it off. Yawning excessively now.
The ’strain’ of Christmas does help. Arrangements. Visiting relatives in another city etc. I would rather sit this Christmas out, not have to do anything, not have to meet anyone or be sociable and just have a ‘comfort’ Xmas with food and a blanket in front of the telly watching It’s a Wonderful Life. But always the ‘arrangements’ and feeling you either have to travel or be a host. I vote for more selfishness at Chrstmas.
I have a meeting tonight; one which I’ve had significant panic attacks/anxiety before. However I may just not go because I don’t feel like it rather than forcing myself to go for the sake of CBT treatment.
Reading this has just made me feel a lot worse!
Luckily GF is in ‘look after’ mode at the moment (I helped her with a college assignment last night). Wonder how long it will be before she is back to ‘complain’ mode.
